A few years ago I went cliff-jumping with some friends. I was so ready for it, so excited to make our way up the "cliff" and stare at the green water. I was so excited to feel the rush of adrenaline as my feet left the edge of the rock and plunge toward the ground. So one of my friends jumped. Then another. Then it was my turn. I stood at the edge, ready to jump and..... nothing. Well, there were too many rocks. I could fall.
Everyone helped clear the rocks off so the smooth ground would be stable and I could jump. So I looked down at the water... nothing. I froze.
I read a great blog post by Jenny Hanson today called Do You Fear Your Dream and I literally sat back and said YES! I have these moods where I get really inspired followed by periods of inactivity because I trick myself into thinking I can't do this or don't deserve this or the rocks were in the way or blah blah excuse blah.
It isn't just limited to cliff jumping or even writing. I've been looking to move out of my house and into an apartment closer to my work, but the problem is I've never moved. Ever. So when I had to start looking at apartments my brain froze. I've spent about a week stalling my potential roommates because I figure they can find themselves an apartment and toss me out of the equation. Except I know they won't. Still, I'm in freeze mode.
It would be so much easier to keep living in my parents' house. Not only is it cheaper, I have a built in excuse to not participate in things! How perfect is that?
Answer? Not perfect at all. Because deep down I know that one day I'm going to regret it. So I'm going to go out of my comfort zone.
I'm going to move out. I'm going to write. And every time I hear that little voice start to speak up, I'm going to tell it to shut the hell up. Then I'll jump.