An actual conversation with my sister via text messaging:
Sister: I forgot to ask, how was your birthday?
Me: Just about the same as last year, except replace drinking loko with slowly dying at work.
Sister: You're almost done!
Me: No. I still have 50 years.
Sister: Noo retirement is 65, you only have 42 left!
Me: That's assuming I can retire at 65
Sister: Why not?
Me: There are many reasons. Social security collapses, identity theft, the zombie apocalypse...
Sister: If there is a zombie apocalypse and you don't quit your job to fight zombies I will be seriously disappointed in you.
Me: Obvi I will fight the zombies, but I still won't be able to retire.
Sister: That's the next best thing!
Me: I suppose so. I'd rather fight zombies than vampires.
Sister: Well duh. Vampires only have two weaknesses. You can kill zombies in a bunch of different ways
Just another day...